man, i was so stressed out and frustrated, it made my allergies and sickness come back! i was not able to breathe, eat (everything tasted like chalk), and my eyes started to collect gunk in the tearducts, i can barely see anything. thanks alot for stressing me out!!!!

but that aside, i need to stop being so irrational and emotionally freaked out because it's annoying even myself. i have to just accept things the way they are and make the best of whatever i have left. it is hard to be optimistic in times like these, but i suppose the higher power knows what's best for me, and maybe this might turn out to be a good thing overall. maybe if things go well, it might progress in other directions in my life that i had forgotten to turn towards in the midst of all this chaos. it may just be possible things may get better with distance, who knows.

but like i said, i can't let this get to me. it's not the end of the world, he is right. it was a good journey, great experience, and will always get a special spot in all my special memories box. just like everything else that was a good and interesting experience, even bad ones, get a slot in the memory box. i think i just treasure memories. everything seemingly bad now, may look like flowers in the next few years.

think good thoughts, think good thoughts ..