oh..
meant to mention that mike has gotten thru to a second round interview with the sigma chi organizatio for that director of IT position. the interview is this wednesday, and hopefully by this friday they would have made a decision to hire him =) but either case -- its exciting that he made it thru to a 2nd round. they are certainly efficient because he had his first interview last wednesday, the 2nd one this wednesday, AND the results.... the end of this week!

hopefully, by mid march, id be sleeping with a director instead of just ... well .. a working man! hehe

*yawn*

blue man group on saturday was awesome. next up would be to go see stomp, which i personally would like, given the kookiness of it.

tux and oreo are both now 5 months old, and they only have two more months to grow up before i have to go neuter them. hopefully, it will make them less crazy (i swear, they mustve been gazelles or sth in their past lives, the way they tear up the apartment).

i have a sneaky suspicion that the marriage i will have with mike will be a lot like the one my parents had. except, where they failed, we will succed (because i dont plan on doing my phd in a different country, leaving my man behind, and then somehow get transferred to a different headquarters in another state, city, country, watever). its kinda interesting to see how things will come to play. i told mom about this and she said "well, then you shall have a very blissful marriage". sometimes, i cry about theirs.

like, now. i cant really deal with the thought that they arent together when they should be. and altho this has been going on for more than a decade long, the fact that i wasnt there to really experience it like my siblings did (and for that i am quite grateful), sometimes i forget that they arent together anymore, and then i have to catch myself from saying something that might embarrass them. its tough.

oh well, i promise that i will use that i know of their marriage and apply that to mine and make it work.

havent done much thought-reflection. perhaps its because i am at peace with myself and my choices, and all i have to do is live them until the next phase in life sets stage. the things that i have come to realize is the importance of understanding that i have options and i have the freedom of choice. being that i will no longer be bound by certain groups of people nor will i be surrounded by an environment that is caustic and filled with reprimands of a sort, i need to start building my own ways of doing things such that i will be prepared come time to impart certain widsom.

not that i plan on doing that anyway because i believe in molding the natural and non-coerced ways. but at the same it feels good to have a backup plan in case something bad happens.

in many ways i feel like a child, still wondering and yearning for the one key knowledge that will set me free from all these bindings and i wish i was strong and bold enough to take a step out of the coccoon that has been tightly wrapped around me since birth. at the same time, being brainwashed in so many different ways and degrees has made me this person who is awanting freedom yet awaiting the punishment for WANTING that freedom. it is blasphemous, i know. no one thing or person should make me feel this way, and i am not really pointing fingers at particular sects or societies, and yet.. you cant help but wonder, how would life have been for me had i been raised in different ways under different school of thoughts, and would i have been able to embrace that belief.

difficult choices to make at this brink of adulthood, when one would assume that everything should have been figured out by now. life certainly does start creeping up on you and the moment you realize that you aren't getting younger, you will start to feel the pressure. is it enough to just live life and be true to yourself and good to others, or does life entail other constrictions and commandments that need to be fulfilled before life expires here on earth?

hey, what dya know ...

i got invited to join the depaul honor society, a phi kappa phi ... the email said "....a tribute to your outstanding academic record..."

awesome.

i am SO looking forward to graduating this june - i feel as if this degree is worth so much more than the one i got from northwestern, and with the bright prospects of life, and the need to NOT worry about what i will do once i reach that junction, makes it even MORE enticing and i am even MORE looking forward to it! not to mention the fact that i will hopefully gather a band of the 'fashie-fans' to come and cheer me on =) two families, and a buncha friends, AND graduating with LISA will make it all worthwhile. i cant wait! very exciting stuff....

i cant believe its almost valentines day, meaning its almost mid february, meaning its almost time to grow up coz soon i will be graduating and soon i will be working, and perhaps even sooner i will be getting married ... eeks! life is going too fast for me to really enjoy, but i think this is all happening now, all at once, to catch up with the age that i am approaching .. hehe, as age limit tends to turning 26, all of life events that shoulda happened two, three years ago (well, at least the job part), are all going to come crashing down on poor old me. at the same time that i feel this apprehension and anxiety brewing in the pit of my stomach, i cannot help feeling very intrigued and excited. i mean, how often does this happen to a person? ok, maybe not any general person, but to me!! boo-yeah...

meeting ellen for lunch today - she will probably impart her CIO-wisdom unto me, and she'll probably want me to go seek out allstate's CTO coz apparently they are good buddies. i really oughta write down all these people's names when they are being flinged at me - i think everybody under the sun knows of a someone who works at allstate. its pretty freaky.

today, i shall pick up my OPT packet from the international student office and will carefully send it off into the sunset, towards the people that deal with the visa issuance. and tonight, i shall wrap myself in my big 'geek' fleece blanket, and settle down in front of my hdtv to watch the dramatic series of 'the OC', and it will apparently, be MORE dramatic than last week's .. (mike will of course watch it with me too - a ritual that we do every thursday night) cant wait.

hehe, i finally figured it out.

or rather, my mom did for me. she and my dad would like to throw a big, huge, malaysian wedding back home, one where blocks and blocks of streets would be closed off to the public, out front at my dad's huge house, and mike and i will be sitting on this throne-like thing, in our malay garb, while people/guests throw rice and all sorts of other things at our faces. heheh! it's gonna be fun and funny =) talked about having the kompang and the bunga telur too, with the nasi minyak .. omg, im SO excited! yum yum ... mmmmmMMMmmm

so looks like my wedding the first time round will span over two years, one being a more casual, demure reception in medinah, and the second being a rowdier, crowdier, and traditionaler event =) oooOoo i can invite all my old friends from back home, now THAT would be COOL! woooo, yeay meeeee....

i put down a deposit for my xA!!!! needed to reserve the car three months ahead of time so that itd get here by june 1st. woooooooo CARRRRR!!

if there was a summa cum laude in the masters program - i would be it! if i can maintain my 4.0 from now until the end of june, i will be graduating with honors and highest distinction! how cool is that! id be wearing a robe with a hood on it, with extra stols and such .. man, exciting! found out where the commencement would be - in good ole allstate arena. funny how that works. i will be working FOR allstate, and i am commencing life IN their arena ...

anyhoo ...
i was searching for really good ways to get to northbrook for july and given that the BEST way the transit can provide for me was to take one el line to a bus line, then transfer to another bus line, before taking a hike of six blocks to work, i decided that its high time i get my IL driver's license and buy a car so i can drive to work. so now, i have to BUY a car AND get my driver's license sorted out. i will need the car by june so i can get used to driving around here, and i have chosen this car (given that its cheap and it gets great mileage). so i am uber excited about owning a car. man, with graduation, and car buying, and working, and getting married AND buying a house, all in one year, this year has certainly got some major perks for me!

yay for growing up!

*cough, cough* .... *sniffle, sniffle*

yes, i have the goddamned cold! and i wouldntve caught it had the lady who gave her bugs to me been hanging out and chilling in my work space, as if nothing was going to happen (of course at the time nobody thought to shoo her out of the office because we were either too polite or too oblivious that cold bugs can swim thru the air and land on anyone they please to infect next) and of course, i didnt think i would catch it (dont know WHY i thought i was super resilient), but i DID catch it, and had to suffer an entire weekend and two days. the only good thing that came out of this was that i didnt have to go to work coz my boss is particular with sickly employees. i still had to study for my two exams though, AND take them one day after another (today being the second of it) so yeah, so much for resting and recuperating. thatd just be pure luck - which i dont seem to possess as of late.

parent number two should be home by now. i shall let her rest in peace for a couple hours before calling and bugging her about the next phase of life. someone pointed out to me the other day that if i changed my last name to villiger, itd be a heck lot easier to remember than being a zulkifli. funny, the someone who pointed that out to me is a close friend ... hehe *patpat* as for whether i will be changing my last name or not, nobody but me will know and i will surprise even the beau on the day .. mwahahaha!!

ok, got in touch with an immigration lawyer yesterday to clarify my visa requirements and status adjustments. was a little disturbed by articles and posts read on the web a few days ago regarding illegal changing of status (and it pertained to my current F1), so had to call and reclarify. apparently what i had been reading were targeted for aliens who left US and then plan on marrying a US citizen. that is apparently not cool. but since i am still in the country the process is as simple as hiring a lawyer and doing whatever they tell me to do. i can do one of two things:

1. switch from F1 to green card status holder immediately (green card comes on average 1.5 years, in the mean time they will issue a K1 work permit i think)
2. stay on F1 until i graduate, use up my OPT and then apply for green card ... this one makes more sense given the time crunch and i need some kind of work permit for july

so i guess i gotta go to that OPT workshop and then pay the goddamned INS more money... i swear, its as if they dont want me here .........

anyhoo, i should probably resume studying. tonights exam will require more memorization and spewing out random definitions that wont be of use to me. why-o-why do i subject myself to such torture and pain?