zzZzZZzz

stayed up till 5am and woke up at 730am (i said woke up, not get up). slept over at tia's last night after having dinner with jeff and her in the best persian restaurant eva! gawd, the lamb shanks dish that i had was scrumptious, the meat was falling off the bone. i was very satisfied. the dessert that got server was real nice too .. tia claimed to orgasm as the white chocolate mousse melted in her mouth.. hehe .. it was fun -- we discussed all the things that didnt get discussed and we talked about joining yoga and copeira, AND the african dance diaspora (for me and jeff at the community park later on) i am SO excited! i cant wait to do yoga, it will be tons of fun. and since it would be down the street from where i will be living, my days will be filled with a ton of wonderfulness that is me and working out

we rented the worst movies possible to watch last night. confessions of a teenage drama queen (dont ever watch this movie, it was so crappy i wanted to cry!) and jeepers creepers 2 (it was actually better than the first one) hung out a lot and did nothing of significance but talk and chitchat and yakk. the duo is back in biznez baby!

i have to create a creative cover memo for the upcoming week. my big huge networking events are happening in the next 10 days and i have to be as charming and as intelligent as possible. i am quite excited actuallY! the cio of mccormick place is going to pick me up from work and drive me to a restaurant herself! i feel pretty special.... wish me luck and GOD PLEASE GIMME A JOB!

to go or not to go .. to leave or not to leave. why do i always find myself in this same situation every thursday afternoon? i get back from lunch, i sit at my desk and i wonder for hours if i should skip my night class or if i should be good and brave the boring-three-hour-lecture on how to IT Operations and Management (which i dont give a damn about right now because i am not in management yet, and besides, those things are common sense, you shouldnt have to be taught things like that!)

so yet again, it is thursday afternoon and i am debating if i should skip or if i shouldnt skip. tuesday night's class was unbearable i thought i was going to pass out from boredom. i wish i had brough my gym clothes -- then i wouldve just up and leave and head on to the gym. perhaps what i could do is go buy me a cheapo pair of work out shoes, shorts, teeshirt and gym-bra from old navy and just go work out. i was going to buy new work out clothes anyways -- mine look ugly and tattered... hmm... now that's a thought..

*ponders*

ok lets weigh this out. i am done with the GIS map. i dont need to add anymore stuff on to it because the hubs arent necessary and the fiber runs are well captured. i named the streets and titled it and all. no more fine tuning on my behalf. well i could fine tune it more but there is no need because the streets lined up fine. i think. well too late to be thinking stuff like that now. i am not touching the damned laptop anymore. as for class tonight -- pish posh. i can view the video later on. and i dont bother really viewing it because it sux and the prof is so boring i want to gorge my eyes out.  what is left to do, but leave?! i mean .. seriously...

*taptap*

*yawn*

had a great two hours work out at the gym, came back home, felt fine and it wasnt until later when i did more exercises at home that put me in a very, very exhausted state .. but i feel great! wish i couldve swam though -- that wouldve been somewhat more fun.

in any case, i have big dates coming up with big executives. i am trying not to lose track as to whom i will be speaking to, and it's very hard because they are all happening within a day of each other. the worst part of it is that not all of the dates involve a 'one-on-one' meeting. most of them happen via phone calls and i cannot remember people if i dont see their faces! i think tomorrow is with an accenture PM, friday is with the VP of unisys ... i have yet to reschedule a meeting with chris, and i have one with the principal of SDI on monday (the company i am sorta targetting more because i love their take on technology). at some point i also need to squeeze in the director of the ASK website (where all these mentors come from) and then i have to find room for the CIO of the mccormick place. eeks! too many! too damned many .. and i already have TEN to take care of .... ooiiighh..

other than that, i finally got the conversion from autocad into GIS right .. it only took me all of three days .. well not really, half the time i was pissing away working on networking and freaked about it today because i was under the impression that dorsey will be coming back tomorrow. i still dont know if he is or not, i suppose i will find out when i get to work tomorrow. hope he wont be there though. i gotta call people for the next three weeks and most of them want the calls to happen during working hours. people need to realize that i dont have an office to be making calls; i have a damned cubicle and people can hear me!

life is good. mike and i are great. i am looking forward to buying new furniture for the new house and i cant wait for a myriad of events to take place. this next year promises a lot of things and i hope that something great will come out of it.

saturday was THE BEST DAY ever!

treated mike to his birthday dinner at Bob Chinn's Seafood downtown (beautiful restaurant on the river, serves the best seafood eva!) and i had the most scrumptious alaskan king crab (mmmmm ... ) and the both of us had food coma afterwards (i mean, of course we did -- complete dinner with appetizer and dessert at a seafood restaurant would do that to ANYONE) we went for a mini river walk afterwards so as not to pass out from eating too much (and two guys on a boat were video taping us from on the river and invited us to jump down into their boat for a ride =))

had to leave downtown as quickly as we arrived since we were throwing a party later on that night .. and my god -- did we have fun! the boys came then my friends came, and more of his friends and my friends arrived. ive noticed that mike's friends are mostly tall, fat men and two of them took up half of my living room! and there were probably a good ten of them like that! hehe .. it was really fun tho -- we got good booze, good food, great company, great games (halo, project racing gotham (i think) and DDR2, courtesy of a very drunken lisa!) tia came over along with phil, two of my oldest and dearest NU friends. got a picture of paul's very naked and very chubby ass on tape, sang at the top of our lungs for the birthday cake cutting, and got rowdy that neighbors called the cops on us (but the cop was nice enough to let us go with a warning). we had to shut our windows afterwards to stem loud music and people shouting at the top of their lungs from reverberating into the streets of evanston (ev IL land!) very fun night, and very great people. someone puked on the steps downstairs though, that was kinda funny ..

sunday i went to help tia assemble her furniture at the new apartment. i must say -- i am looking forward to living in the same town as her again. we went through a lot junior/senior year and especially during my break up period. shes a fun and interesting person and i love spending time with her! hopefully med school wont kill her and she will have some fun time to spend (especially when i move in with jeff -- man thats just gonna be lots of reminiscing!)

on a more professional note -- the CEO/principal of SDI Chicago called ME to set up a time to meet for lunch! the date is set for next monday and i look forward to speaking with him. if this one goes through, i would have TWO options to choose from .. hells fucking yea!

my life has suddenly taken on a very interesting, happy ending-ish kinda turn. i found out yesterday that i am indeed worthy of being kept in this country as a working 'citizen' and that there is hope for me after all =) the CIO of the BIS department that i work for now said that if i do decide to come back and work for them full time, i should let them know by february of next year so they can get started on the paperwork and such. he also told me that i should keep my options opened because he believes that other companies will give me the chance he has given me too (i think he was referring to the companies he referred me to, so thats a good sign). but nevertheless, i have a backup plan.

then i went home and in my inbox, there is an email that made my heart spin faster than a spinning top -- the COO that i spoke to early this week forwarded my resume on to one of the companies that he works closely with, and must have made a good recommendation, because the CEO of that company said that i sounded like a good fit (based on the recommendation) and that my resume looked stellar! and i should expect a call in the next few weeks or something! aahhh!!

and on top of all that, i have secured a graduate assistantship with the place i used to work for before i went internship crazy. this position requires me to become a project coordinator, programming for events that will be of interest to adult students. and as far as i can tell, adult students are mostly interested in career and networking events, so heck -- even I will benefit from that! there will be a stipend involved with this position (which means i will make more than i did last time), and apparently my tuition will get waivered! i duno how that will turn out, since i am on a scholarship and all .. maybe if im lucky, i will get a check cut out in my name and i will get, oh, i duno .... $10k or something per quarter ..hehehehe =)

but even without the tuition waiver, i will be fine, and man, i am relieved in some way that i at least HAVE something to fall back on..... *phew* i just gotta make sure that i dont get hired on to do things that will put me in the humiliating spot of being someones nose-wiper.

today will be a special day. mike will be pampered all day and later on tonight, there will be a house party thrown and i will get to 'entertain' people. not that i like doing that much -- entertaining people is such a motherly/fatherly kinda chore ... but i get to see my old friends, so im happy enough and we will soooo get trashed .. woo! see yall lata!

my current living situation is the weirdest one ever. and i think what i am about to complain and/or discuss transcends just problems encountered when you cohabitate with a loved one -- i think it could be generalized onto bigger things, such as the big and scary M-arriage counterpart.

when you live with someone who is as reclusive as my boyfriend, you will know that its very hard to interact with them. and as much as they love your companionship, there are times when they could be locked in a cellar in the basement and wont make a peep for another week or so because they relish the dark, dampened, lonesome encroaching space. there is something comforting to these creatures, about being alone and not having to worry about saying the wrong or doing the wrong thing. there is no need for social niceties (even between lovers) and there is no need for pretense. i understand this completely after living with someone like this -- but this is the thing, he isnt the only one like this. there must be other men who are as much of a recluse like he is, and who LIVE with a loved one. so its not that weird of a situation.

the weird part about it is this -- how on earth will anyone with this type of personality ever get involved with another human being, and want to cohabitate, or even worse, get married to that one person and having to DEAL with LIVING with another living, breathing, talking human being, who, by nature, is a very social creature (save the select few like himself)? i mean, understandably, when one couple gets married, they tend to live in a bigger space, ie not a one bedroomed apartment, condo or house. but what if you are strapped for cash, there is only one bedroom in the entire house, and no other living space but one that is opened to all? then what? do you just tolerate the other person? is that the key -- toleration? but what if you dont have the patience to tolerate? do you then move out and live elsewhere, and just see each other when you can handle each other's antiques? what kind of relationship is that? reminds me of my own parents. one parent lived in one state, while another lived in a state on the OPPOSITE end of the country. makes great families *smirks*

or perhaps it is good practise to heed old adages -- dont date someone radically different. but i think if i had to date someone like myself, i would kill that other person, and then eventually kill me, because i cant stand the thought of going out with myself. i mean, i love me, mind you -- but dealing with TWO of me's simultaneously? eeks!

the dilemma is this really .. on a more personal basis now. do i set my heart on moving on after i move out this september ie. not think about moving back in with a boyfriend, any boyfriend, after this.. or do i find a bigger place to move in with him? and risk having him living out of his office, never to see him except during meal times (that is, IF he remembers to come out?)

happy birthday to you ..

happy birthday to youuuuu...

happy birthday dear MIKEEYYYYYYYY....

happyyyy birthdayyyy toooo youuuuuu!!!!!

 

HAPPY 26th BIRTHDAY TO MY BEAUTIFUL BABY BOY ....

1-800-FLOWERS screwed up the birthday bucket delivery for mike -- instead of delivering the package tomorrow on his birthday, they delivered it to him today. I dont understand why they bother taking down the 'delivery date' if they werent going to stick to it. oh well, at least it came BEFORE his birthday. it would have been pretty pointless if it came 'after' the birthday. the main thing is that he liked it so im happy. and it got him to eat during working hours, which is another main goal =) gotta feed my baby...

so i found out that the city of chicago will sponsor me if i choose to work with them come time to graduate. its nice to know that i have a back up plan i suppose but i dont want to work with the city if it means working anywhere near the proximity of my stupid old dorsey man. id rather go back home and work there rather than working with him (ok maybe not, but its close enough to the truth) i am sure i wont be doing work under dorsey though if i get hired on. i will make sure to be put into a database team. since i wont wanna be doing crap work with dorsey.

anyway, another networking event went stellar. another CIO and a few more names to call. i have a list of people that i need to touch base with and i hope to get to some of them by the end of this week. next week i will be meeting with another CIO and this time, it will be in a freaking restaurant. what the heck do i do then? i mean, whats the 'proper' code of conduct when networking in a restaurant? i suppose i will be eating salad.

ok, hopefully acxiom will hire me *please please*

omg!
it CAME!!!!!!

it bloody fucking came!!! and not only did it come, it came in HUGE GLOBULES and i could be NONE-the-HAPPIER!!!!!
 
*breathes sigh of relief*

hehehe ....  so for the past week or so, mike and i have been planning a vacation to disneyworld. ive done the whole disneyworld thing before but this time, it would be different because:
 

1. we are going to be staying IN one of the disney resorts, so i will get pampered and wont miss internet very much since they have wireless hotspots everywhere
2. the resort we choose will be facing a lake, and so we will get to do boat rides and cruises
3. we will be staying there for an entire freaking week -- we will get to go to all the best parts, take our own sweet time exploring

I CANT WAIT!! and its really cute watching mike plan this entire thing -- the extensive research he has already done (and we all know how he loves doing research on the internet) and how pumped he is with the different kinds of activities we could do while we are there ... awwww... *patpat*

ugh, so i was thinking that there were only four couples getting married in the next six months, but apparently, i am missing like, four other couples from back home!! lets see shall we (these are all the people my age from the same malaysian batch):

married already
1. lin
2. liya
3. amirul
4. prasad
5. charlie
6. nizam
7. sayuti

getting married
1. Erma and Epit (this August)
2. Izma (one day before Erma and Epit)
3. Safwan (some time in August)
4. Thary and Kevin (end of August)
5. Nadia and Shah (in September)
6. Jason and Sarah (in April)

i cant handle this!!!

there are a lot of things that have been said about america that have made little or no sense watsoever, but the one thing that i have noticed is the fact that they are big on opportunities. they like it when things exist in their lives and they have that opportunity to seize the moment to do something with those existing things. it doesnt matter that they never ever DO seize the moment ... its just the fact that the opportunities exist and they can seize it whenever they feel like it.

i dont know whether i am frustrated or annoyed or just .. indifferent about this issue. i would think that i am more annoyed and frustrated than indifferent, because otherwise i wouldnt be talking about it. its great and fine and dandy that these americans like to be surrounded by opportunities -- what humanity wouldnt. opportunities are great, they are wonderful. in fact, its better than wonderful. you work hard to ensure that those opportunities last and wont leave you in a moments notice. the not seizing the opportunities part is what gets me, because it feels like things are taken for granted. and i am very much annoyed with that, because i am so used to working my butt off just to be given a slight bit of opportunity and the moment that opportunity comes knocking on my door, i will seize it without a moments breath. i dont know whether its a culture thing, or an upbringing thing -- i HATE seeing opportunities come by without ever being taken advantage of or made full use of. it feels like the opportunity is being wasted. and taken for granted. and i guess i just dont like thinking that things can be taken for granted without us actually having appreciating it completely.

maybe im just worried and anxious about graduating next year. and this is why i get annoyed with people with opportunities who dont take advantage of them. i think i am just getting to the point where i am coming to realize that this journey will not be an easy one, and its only just begun. the rejection letters are going to come as soon as i commence my search, and i dont ever know if the opportunity will ever come my way.

maybe there is also a bit on envy in the ways americans live their lives. that they are so used to being pampered and so used to having nice things, things that make sense and things that make their lives so much easier to live, that every little thing needs to be in existant and needs to be perfect, because they havent lived otherwise. and i envy them because they have never had to live lives that dont come with opportunities, not necessarily. you have to work your butt off to get anywhere, and i guess i am just sick and tired of it all.

why cant just everything be handed to me on a silver platter?

in a way i suppose i am grateful. in a way, i am more aware of other people's lives and i can be more sensitive to what they have been through. in more ways than one, i know where i want to be later on in life, to be able to live an easy and almost-perfect life like these americans, but in so many ways, i just want to yell and scream ...

"appreciate, and dont take things for granted!!!"

*ugh*

i cant believe the reason why i cant sleep is because of my stupid retarded boss. i keep tossing and turning in my sleep because i am half afraid he will show up at my doorstep, yelling at me for not being at a 1pm meeting that he didnt tell me about (because he expects me to either know HIS schedule or be psychic), and half weary that he will demand a nose-wipe-a-down and lean-to-the-left.

i am sooooooooooooooo tired... and pretty much burnt-out.

my oracle professor gave us a cigar for being cool -- well actually, he asked people who smoked cigar to raise their hands and come up front to pick up some churchill cigars because hes in celebratory mode: wife gave birth to a beautiful 9lb baby girl. so he had to share his joy with the world.

been extremely busy the past couple of days. database design project due next week and we are still finalizing the conceptual and logical models. teammates are hopeless, they are either lazy or numskulls. but hey, im done next week and wont have to worry about this for a loong, loong time (well, until september) cant believe five weeks approaching. before long, fall quarter will start and i will be scrambling for on-campus jobs.

if i maintain my 4.0 till the end of winter quarter, i will be invited to join the honor society -- delta upsilon pi epsilon. well, the cut is 3.75 but i want to graduate with distinction too (3.9) getting an A- will not help. so i gotta keep the 4.0

networked my ass off the entire week and for it, i have appointments with three CIOs, one senior manager engineer, one software developer, and one international student who got himself a consultant job. pretty good for a week's worth of work. gotta up the networking next week. and start looking at job boards. still working on making the resume stellar. but at this point, i think being stellar isnt going to cut it -- i need nepotism.

not sure whats going on this weekend. all i know is i gotta get mike his bday present, and i need to complete my database creation. i need sleep. and dorsey is being a dick, again. what else is new.

i feel like im missing something, that i forgot to do something. i think it might be the job application. i should research more. bleh

happy fourth of july. spent the day/weekend lazying and hanging with people who strap army figurines to fireworks and blasting them off the fence of some patio (actually, the patio of our british-fathered friend) and for the first time in many years, i went swimming and was almost drowned by my own boyfriend -- since he was that nice =) it was fun, i forgot how fun swimming and fucking around was, i need to find that swimming pool in ray-meyers. what should happen is mike should get a house someplace with a swimming pool and i will come around often to swim in it...

back to crap tomorrow. being responsible.

satisfied my electronic buying cravings of the week -- replaced the broken JVC DVD player and bought a new Toshiba DVD player. and now i have to start listing out the electronics that i want and crave, because i am sick that way and must make a list so i can daydream and fantasize about buying/owning them.

1. Portable DVD Player
mm... uber-licious. i want one and will benefit greatly from my boring el rides everyday.

2. Fujifilm FinePix F410 3.14MP Digital Camera w/ 3x Optical Zoom
cute .. but i like the following better..

3. Sony Cyber-shot 5.0-Megapixel Digital Camera
should see that commercial with this digicam .. it is BEYOOOOTIFUL!

4. Canon PowerShot 4.0-Megapixel Digital Camera
this one would probably be a better bet ..

5. Toshiba 27" Stereo TV with Flat Picture Tube - Silver
perhaps for the bedroom ...

i also have a HUMONGOUS list of DVDs to buy too ... i have waaayyyyyy too much things to want. but the newest one on my have-to-buy list is Das Experiment -- those who havent seen it, WILL have to see it. its fucking awesome.

i think i am hooked on books such as the one i am reading currently -- the rule of four. the premise isnt that great, its not a fast moving action and nobody is on the lookout to kill anybody else (well thats not entirely true, but you get what i mean). the thing that hooks me to books like this is the fact that the protagonists try to solve age-old books (the one this time round is called the hypnerotomachia poliphili by francesco colonna) and i just LOVE how that book actually exists and that renaissance scholars have spent centuries trying to decipher it and only have been able to recently, due to the complexity of the text and the nested cipherings that are included within.

cant wait to read more and figure out what crypt is buried with what secret tellings..

speaking of metrosexuality .. wohoo look at my cool cufflinks, i think they're way chic. i think i like this whole cufflink thing, I used to think cufflinks were for conservative old men with tweed jackets and snootish demeanors, but just like everything, the style and manner define the trend you follow.

oh and by the way, i'm now officially a "Technology Consultant". I think that's a chic, hip, trendy title, nothing to boring and mundane as "business consultant" or "management consultant", and yet nothing too geeky like "technical analyst" or "Technical consultant". shows my passion for technology and yet highlights that i'm not purely a technical geek with a mountain-dew-cum-pizza pot belly and and thick glasses and wild long dandruffy hair

yeah yeah fine, i'm vain. so what. i have pride in myself. something somewhat lacking in the local population nowadays. makes women here so unattractive