My father is remarrying as we speak right now - and I am not there to witness it~!!!

I first heard of the news earlier this week, more accurately, on Monday morning as I sat at my desk, ready to begin the final week at work before taking a long week off. I turned on my laptop, started outlook, where lo and behold, there it was, an email in my inbox from my father, long lost father, someone whom I have not spoken to or had any direct contact with since, oh I dont know, about 3-4 months ago. I dont deny it - my father and I have never been close, but this is too much!! He sent me an email saying that he has decided to end his bachelorhood with a lady who is 20 years younger, and that their wedding was this weekend (AKA RIGHT THIS MINUTE!!!!)

WTF!?!!??!!

Why couldnt the wedding plan have included a 2 day buffer for his oldest daughter to fly in from out of country to be there on his big day! He claimed it was not a big day for him, that it wasnt worth my time and money to fly out to be there with him on this special day. How can it NOT be a big day - their wedding was only going to span all of Saturday morning, afternoon and night?!!!

I am HURT! I cried on Monday, calling my mother and trying to figure out what the heck is going on. I am shocked, thrilled, anguished, annoyed and pissed, all at the same time. It's great that after almost a decade of being without someone, that he is able to settle down with a woman who is yet to be married, who is accomplished, well educated - a generally nice person. But it's almost hurtful, nay, VERY hurtful, that he didnt care to break the news to me any sooner.

At least he was consistent in the method of delivery. Apparently my mother was the first person to know about this wedding from his side of the family - and she only knew 24 hours before I did (maybe less due to the weird half way around the world time zone). Man, was I heartbroken - and still am. The longer I had time to think about it, the more I think my dad doesnt want me to be there. Maybe he's ashamed of me or something to that extent. Why else would he not have told me, us, sooner?

The reasoning has been - short and sweet, like ripping a bandaid from your arm - so you wouldnt have to dwell on the trauma for an extended length of time. If it wasnt me in this situation, yeah maybe - but this is even MORE traumatic than having to deal with it over a period of time. THIS - is a LOT worse! And not being there makes it even more unbearable.

And my sister isnt doing too well either. I am very convinced that she has never fully recovered from the divorce; while we all had known that dad dated this lady for over a year and that she had indeed helped my sister with her driving lessons - it still didnt make it easier to have this kinda news be broken to you in such a short time. *sigh* Again, wishing I could be there, at least then, I could've seen what a beautiful wedding that is probably going to be. It's the woman's first marriage after all - I am sure her family and relatives have been waiting for this day for a long time.....

I CANT BELIEVE I AM NOT THERE!!!!!!!!

*sniffles*

So unwanted...

We were at lunch discussing amazing animals that Kao frequently watches on the Discovery channel - for example, how a cheetah's way to cool down from a massive work out (such as chasing gazelles or rabbits across the serengghetis of africa) will be to pass out and snooze, instead of sweating like us humans do. I wish I had seen that bit of documentary on Discovery as apparently there was a snapshot of what happened to a cheetah who was chasing a rabbit, reached its maximum threshold and zonked out as it it had hit a brick wall. The cheetah woke up as soon as his heart beat reached its normal level, but he was completed out of whack with his surrounding, having no memories of where he was, what he was doing and why he just woke up from a quick nap.

I will miss such random commentaries when Kao leaves. It's unbelievable how many of my coworkers have left, ones that I started out with and ones that I actually enjoy working with. Sometimes, when situations like these happen, I can not help but wonder at my own situation and if I should indeed be reevaluating my circumstances. One of these days, I will need to map out some of my career goals and check off the ones that I have accomplished and ones that I should accomplish within the next 3 years.

In any case, a certain someone irked me quite a bit while on the phone - there is a certain rudeness to this person that reminds me of the reason why things happened the way they were and how irksome it is to be shut down and ridiculed, when all you tried to do was be nice and catch up with a somewhat long lost friend. Now that I know the reception is far less colder, accompanied by resentment, I dont think I will be calling to catch up anymore.

Pretty annoying.

We hired a few interior painters to complete our painting work - will post up some pictures later.